If He Got Beef I'm a Vegetarian

Information technology starts innocently enough.

Neito sits down in the cafeteria where he always does, next to Kendou at the table where near of class 1-B spends their lunch 60 minutes. He doesn't talk to anyone except for his usual absentminded jabs when he hears something remotely interesting, instead trying to notice something interesting on his phone.

He doesn't, because he's bored out of his mind and has been all day. Today has been an absolute slog; he only has classes he hates and hero grooming isn't focused on combat skill or annihilation physical, and so he doesn't even have that to expect forwards to.

He doesn't expect that to alter as apace equally information technology does.

A notification pops up on his phone. An unknown number wants to AirDrop him a pic. At first glance, the preview doesn't await like much; but some stupid meme with the "y'all know I had to do it to em" guy in information technology. Whoever information technology is probably just wants to tease him with a joke he's heard at least xx times before that has never been funny.

At second glance, the preview is much more than simply some stupid meme.

"Okay." He slaps both his hands downwards on the tabular array and stands up, glaring at anybody at the tabular array one by one. "Which one of y'all fuckers just AirDropped me loss?"

No one says a word. Pony tries to hide a giggle behind her easily.

"If it was one of us, wouldn't yous know?" Kendou asks.

Neito frowns. She's right, the number that sent him the meme in question was only that: a number. He has everyone in his class as a contact.

"Why would anyone send y'all something if they didn't know you?" Awase adds on.

"Considering everyone wants a piece of my ass," Neito replies, "Next question."

"You're ridiculous," Kendou mutters.

Neito ignores her, instead looking around the cafeteria to try and spot anyone acting suspicious. He doesn't see anything. Everyone is just sitting around their respective tables, eating dejeuner and talking with their friends. A few people are sitting solitary on their phones, but they seem similar the people who are always sitting solitary on their phones, so he doesn't make annihilation of them. Peradventure he should.


The next day, he walks into the cafeteria with heightened awareness of everything and everyone. If the same thing happens again, he'll be ready.

As before long equally he sits down, he sees it: a agglomeration of the Class A assholes are gathered effectually someone'due south phone, the weird girl with the pink skin. They're all laughing.

He should accept known.

"Monoma, where are you lot going?" Kendou asks, "Our table's over hither."

"Aye, I'll be over there in a second." Neito starts walking toward the 1-A tabular array - or what's been deemed the 1-A tabular array, none of the tables here are actually assigned - with conviction in every step.

It's payback time.

"What are y'all all doing over here?" He asks, leaning over the redhead's shoulder.

"Nothing," the daughter says with a snicker. Which means information technology's non zip.

"Then yous wouldn't listen if I took a look , would you lot?" Neito lunges into a gap between heads. No one tin stop him now. Game over.

It'due south a picture of Bakugou. Specifically, Bakugou wearing a adjust and shooting a downright smolder at the camera. The meridian push button of his shirt is undone and he's not wearing a tie.

"What the hell is that?" Neito asks.

"Bakugou's going to exist in an ad in this mag in a few weeks," the tape guy explains.

"Oh." Neito scowls. Not only is this not what he was looking for, it's worse.

He spins around and books it to the ane-B table without looking back.

"What were you even doing?" Kendou asks when he sits down, "I was going to drag you back hither if you didn't cut it out."

"Don't worry!" Neito takes his phone out of his pocket. "It'southward nothing, promise."

It buzzes in his manus.

"What's that?" Kendou leans over to look at the screen and giggles. "Looks like you have a secret admirer."

Neito wouldn't call information technology that, simply the same person from yesterday - of class, he can only presume it's the same person from yesterday - is trying to AirDrop him something again. At least it isn't loss this fourth dimension.

"Monoma has a undercover admirer?" Pony asks from across the table.

"Yeah, bank check it out!" Kendou plucks Neito's phone out of his hand and displays it for everyone to see.

Pony frowns. "That'southward a weird manner to flirt."

Tetsutetsu snorts.

"Any." Neito takes his telephone dorsum and accepts the picture. That might come in handy after.

But the important thing is that he can retaliate. He finds another moving picture and AirDrops it correct back to them.

"That's the one you lot're going with?" Awase leans over from Neito'southward other side. "If you're getting into a meme war with this guy, you can't half-ass information technology."

Tetsutetsu doubles over laughing, about to douse his face in his food. "A meme war?!"

Neito rolls his eyes. Information technology tin can't actually be described as anything else.

Only he'due south going to win.


The then-chosen meme state of war continues for months, and when they come dorsum from summer holiday, it only gets more intense. Information technology's not long before all of Class B joins in, gathering around Neito's phone to give him unsolicited vocalisation and send their ain ammunition. All the while, Neito keeps looking around the cafeteria, trying to figure out who'southward behind information technology all, but he tin't do it.

"Concord on," Tsuburaba says, belongings his phone up, "I've got one."

Neito's non worried about getting the upper hand hither. He just got sent a picture of a Dwelling house Depot sign simply the lights for the Yard and E aren't working so it says The Ho Depot instead. That's piece of cake to trounce. "Okay, hit me," he says.

Tsuburaba sends him the picture, and after a moment of deliberation, Neito pays it frontward.

"Why are we doing this again?" Shiozaki asks.

"I don't call up information technology matters." Tetsutetsu grins. "You wouldn't happen to have anything, would you?"

Shiozaki blinks. "I have one."

"Lay it on me." Tetsutetsu glances at her phone but to flare-up out laughing. "Oh my god, ship that to Monoma!"

"Send what to me?" Neito asks, only for his telephone to buzz with the arrival of the picture in question a 2d after.

It's and so stupid but and so perfect at the same time.

"This guy doesn't stand a chance," he says as he sends it.


It'south Neito's idea to get-go inviting Shinsou to the 1-B table subsequently the articulation training session. He hasn't been placed in either of the hero course classes yet - and there's still no guarantee that he'll get into any of them, though that seems pretty unlikely - just he should know right out of the gate which ane is better.

"Hi, Shinsou!" Kendou greets him warmly when he walks over to the tabular array on the commencement day. They've all saved a seat for him, the one across the table from Neito betwixt Tetsutetsu and Kuroiro.

"Hey," Shinsou says, setting his lunch tray down.

"Oi, Monoma," Awase says, "Have you told him?"

Neito gives him a confused await. "Told him what?"

"Well-nigh... yous know!" He holds up his phone with a sly grin.

"Oh!" Neito turns to Shinsou and smirks. "Then a few months agone, this guy started AirDropping me weird memes during lunch and I don't know who they are, so there's a state of war going on correct at present and if you have whatsoever ammo, you should send it to me."

"It sounds stupid, but it's actually really fun," Kendou adds, "It's, like, a Class B bonding thing now."

Shinsou blinks, taken aback. "...Okay?" He takes his phone out of his pocket. "I don't take your number, though."

"Give me your telephone, I'll put it in." Neito reaches across the table to grab the phone and open up the contacts app, chop-chop typing in his name and number. "Here y'all get," he says as he hands information technology back.

Shinsou still looks like he'southward not sure what's going on equally he takes the phone and taps the screen a few times.

Neito gets the text a few seconds later on.

"Oh my god-" He tries to concord his laughter behind his hand and fails. "Shinsou, what the fuck?!"

"It's what I had," Shinsou says.

"It'due south perfect!" Neito saves both of the pictures to his camera roll and AirDrop them to the guy's phone. "You're pretty good at this."

Shinsou frowns. "Thanks."

The pictures go declined.


Neito's AirDrop Admirer, as the rest of the class has started calling them, doesn't retaliate at lunch that mean solar day. They don't retaliate for the residue of the day, either, but that's probably just because they're out of range. But with Shinsou'due south help, Neito has plenty to work with when they eventually strike back.

The side by side day, he has his phone out before he fifty-fifty gets to the cafeteria, fix for whatever they accept to transport him.

"You lot seem excited," Kendou says.

"Yeah, a little." Neito smirks. He just needs-

His telephone buzzes. The AirDrop notification pops up.

This is different.

"Holy crap," Kendou whispers.

"Shinsou Hitoshi would like to share a photograph"

Neito just stares at the screen in atheism for a few seconds. The nerve, the brazenness, the betrayal , it all shocks him and so much that he can only say i thing in response.

"Mother fucker !"

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Source: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16160132

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